Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
