Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
