he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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