why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
