Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
FUCK WHALES
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
