I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
