What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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