My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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