come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
