O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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