I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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