I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
