i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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