this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
