for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
