Already got asked if we're dating
smell my finger.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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