Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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