i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
