Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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