i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
