i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Welp...herpes.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
