gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
