Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize