im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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