so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
