I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
