ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
