You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You are a genius and a whore.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
