Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You took a bar mat shot.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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