she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All the doctor said was why
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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