Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
