He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
