Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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