.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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