I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
