I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
