i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
