so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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