Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
