I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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