just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Come on in and take your pants off
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