Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
