Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's never too late to be topless.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
