yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
