we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
