just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So here I am, sexting at work.
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