Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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