woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
