Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
