drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My hand turned me down
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
