she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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