she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
