If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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