If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
