so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
