there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
