I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
