We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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