i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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