I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
