She's JV to your varsity
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
