Im at strip club and am horny
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize