Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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