Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
