Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
